14 “Manly” Traits Women Wish Would Disappear

Aaron Rossi

Society’s long-standing expectations of masculinity have often revolved around embodying traits like aggression, stoicism, and dominance. However, these outdated ideals of manhood can be more harmful than beneficial, contributing to various negative outcomes such as increased stress levels, strained relationships, and even health issues.

Aggression and Dominance

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Historically, men were expected to be the protectors and providers, roles that supposedly required assertiveness and control. This mindset persists in many cultures today, where men are often encouraged to demonstrate their strength through aggressive behavior and assert dominance in both personal and professional spheres.
Studies have shown that men who display high levels of aggression are more likely to experience relationship dissatisfaction and increased rates of divorce.

Emotional Suppression

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Cultural norms have long dictated that men should hide their emotions, associating emotional expression with weakness. Phrases like “man up” and “boys don’t cry” reinforce the belief that showing vulnerability is unmanly.
Suppressing emotions can lead to significant psychological damage. Men who internalize their feelings are at higher risk for mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse.
A study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology found that men who engage in emotional expression report lower levels of stress and higher life satisfaction.

Avoidance of Seeking Help

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Many men are conditioned to believe that seeking help is a sign of weakness, whether it’s for physical health, mental health, or emotional support. This mindset is perpetuated by societal messages that men should be tough and self-sufficient, discouraging them from reaching out when they need it most.
Avoiding help can have severe consequences for men’s health and well-being. Men are less likely to seek professional help for mental health issues, leading to untreated conditions such as depression and anxiety.

Hyper-Competitiveness

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From a young age, boys are encouraged to outperform their peers in academics, sports, and eventually, in their careers. This relentless drive to be the best is seen as essential for achieving status, respect, and financial stability. However, this constant pressure to compete can have detrimental effects.
The obsession with being perpetually competitive takes a toll on mental health. Men who feel compelled to constantly prove themselves may experience chronic stress, anxiety, and burnout.

Risk-Taking Behavior

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Men are frequently encouraged to be daring and bold, with societal messages praising those who take risks in pursuit of success, adventure, or status. From extreme sports to high-stakes financial investments, men are socialized to equate risk-taking with bravery and masculinity.
While taking risks can sometimes lead to positive outcomes, excessive risk-taking poses significant dangers. Men who consistently engage in high-risk activities are more likely to experience serious health and safety issues.

Homophobia and Transphobia

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Homophobia and transphobia are deeply rooted in outdated notions of masculinity that rigidly define what it means to be a “real man.” Traditional masculine ideals often exclude any behaviors or identities perceived as feminine or non-conforming, fostering intolerance and prejudice.
According to the Trevor Project, LGBTQ+ youth are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide compared to their heterosexual peers.

Misogyny and Sexism

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Traditional masculinity often perpetuates sexist attitudes by reinforcing the belief in male superiority and entitlement. Men who adhere to rigid gender norms may view women as inferior or as objects to be controlled, leading to the normalization of misogyny and sexism.
These attitudes are rooted in power dynamics and the desire to maintain dominance, with traditional masculinity dictating that men should assert authority over women.

Financial Provider Pressure

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Historically, men have been expected to fulfill the role of primary financial providers for their families. This expectation stems from traditional gender roles that dictate men as the breadwinners, while women are relegated to domestic duties.
The pressure to fulfill the role of financial provider can lead to significant stress and anxiety for men. The fear of failure or inability to meet societal expectations can weigh heavily on mental well-being.

Disregard for Self-Care

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Men are conditioned to prioritize the needs of others over their own well-being, perpetuating the myth that taking care of oneself is a sign of weakness.
This stigma surrounding self-care discourages men from engaging in activities that promote physical and mental health, such as seeking therapy, practicing mindfulness, or prioritizing rest. Chronic stress, poor sleep, and unhealthy lifestyle habits are common outcomes of prioritizing work or caregiving responsibilities over personal well-being.

Suppression of Empathy

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Expressing vulnerability or sensitivity is often perceived as unmanly, leading men to suppress their empathetic instincts. This pressure to conform to traditional masculine norms stifles emotional expression and can result in a lack of empathy towards others’ experiences and emotions.
Research published in the Harvard Business Review found that empathetic leaders are more successful in motivating and inspiring their teams, leading to higher levels of employee engagement and productivity.

Fear of Vulnerability

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Traditional masculine norms emphasize stoicism and emotional restraint, discouraging men from expressing vulnerability or seeking support. This aversion to vulnerability can stem from fear of judgment, rejection, or loss of status, perpetuating a cycle of emotional suppression and isolation. However, embracing vulnerability can lead to stronger, more authentic relationships.

Overemphasis on Physical Strength

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Men are often socialized to believe that muscularity and physical prowess are synonymous with masculinity, perpetuating the notion that strength is essential for asserting dominance and power.

Research consistently demonstrates the relationship between body image issues and mental health problems among men. A study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology found that men with poor body image are at increased risk of developing depression and anxiety disorders.

Reluctance to Engage in Caregiving Roles

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Cultural norms often dictate that caregiving roles are predominantly reserved for women. This societal expectation reinforces gender stereotypes, and men who challenge these norms may face judgment or stigma, further discouraging their involvement in caregiving activities.

However, men’s participation in caregiving roles offers numerous benefits for individuals and families. Sharing caregiving responsibilities promotes gender equality within households, and fathers who are actively involved in caregiving tasks experience greater satisfaction in their relationships with their partners and children.

Suppression of Artistic Expression

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Artistic expression is often discouraged in men due to societal expectations that prioritize practicality and productivity over creativity. This cultural bias against artistic expression stifles men’s ability to explore their emotions, ideas, and identities through creative outlets, perpetuating a narrow definition of masculinity. However, engaging in creativity and artistic pursuits offers numerous benefits for men’s mental health and well-being.

Disregard for Intellectual Pursuits

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Traditional masculine norms prioritize attributes like athleticism and manual labor over intellectual curiosity and academic achievement. As a result, men may feel pressure to conform to stereotypes that downplay the importance of intellectual endeavors. However, intellectual engagement stimulates critical thinking, creativity, and problem-solving skills, fostering intellectual growth and cognitive flexibility.

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