15 Things People Shouldn’t Comment On Unless They Have Experienced Them

Aaron Rossi

Empathy is a vital part of human connection, yet certain experiences can be difficult to comprehend unless lived through personally. Commenting on these deeply personal and often traumatic experiences without firsthand knowledge can inadvertently lead to further harm and misunderstanding.

This article discusses some profound challenges people face and emphasizes why uninformed opinions can be detrimental. From mental health struggles to chronic illness and from grief to the intricacies of parenting, these experiences shape individuals in profound ways.

Mental Health Struggles

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Mental health struggles, such as depression and anxiety, are far more complex than many realize. These conditions affect millions of people, yet they are often misunderstood. Depression isn’t simply feeling sad, and anxiety isn’t just worrying a lot. They are profound, persistent conditions that can impact every aspect of life.

A study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that individuals who received invalidating comments about their mental health reported higher levels of distress and a decreased likelihood of seeking future help.

Grief and Loss

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Grief is an intensely personal journey that varies greatly from person to person. The pain of losing a loved one can manifest in numerous ways, including overwhelming sadness, anger, confusion, and even physical symptoms like fatigue and insomnia. Each individual’s experience of grief is unique, shaped by their relationship with the deceased, their coping mechanisms, and their support system. Recognizing this individuality is crucial in offering appropriate support.

Parenting

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Parenting is a highly personal journey, yet parents often face a barrage of unsolicited advice from friends, family, and even strangers. Comments like “You should let your baby cry it out” or “breastfeeding is the only way” can be overwhelming and stress-inducing. This advice, while sometimes well-meaning, can undermine parents’ confidence and contribute to feelings of inadequacy.

Infertility and Pregnancy Loss

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Infertility and pregnancy loss are profound experiences that impact individuals and couples both emotionally and physically. The journey through infertility often involves invasive medical treatments, significant financial costs, and the emotional rollercoaster of hope and disappointment. Pregnancy loss, whether through miscarriage or stillbirth, brings intense grief and a sense of profound loss. These experiences can lead to feelings of inadequacy, depression, and anxiety, making them some of the most challenging life events one can endure.

Infertility is more common than many realize. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 12% of women aged 15-44 in the U.S. have difficulty getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term.

Living with Disabilities

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Living with a disability often means navigating a world that isn’t designed with your needs in mind. From physical barriers like inaccessible buildings to social hurdles like employment discrimination, disabled individuals face a range of challenges daily. These difficulties extend beyond the physical, encompassing social and emotional dimensions as well.

Chronic Illness

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Living with a chronic illness involves daily battles that most people can’t imagine. Chronic illnesses, such as lupus, diabetes, and rheumatoid arthritis, bring persistent pain, fatigue, and a host of other symptoms that can vary in severity. Everyday tasks like getting out of bed, preparing meals, or even walking can become monumental challenges.

Financial Struggles

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Financial struggles are often accompanied by intense feelings of shame and stress. Individuals facing financial difficulties may experience anxiety over unpaid bills, fear of eviction, and constant worry about how to make ends meet. The stigma associated with financial hardship can lead to social isolation and a reluctance to seek help.

Weight and Body Image

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Weight and body image are sensitive topics that deeply affect individuals’ self-esteem and mental well-being. Society often promotes narrow standards of beauty, leading many to feel inadequate or ashamed of their bodies. The pressure to conform to unrealistic ideals can contribute to eating disorders, depression, and low self-esteem.

Divorce

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Divorce brings profound personal and emotional turmoil. It signifies the end of a significant relationship, often accompanied by feelings of grief, anger, guilt, and uncertainty about the future. Individuals going through divorce may experience a range of emotions, from relief to profound sadness, as they navigate the dissolution of their marriage and the upheaval it brings to their lives.

Sexual Assault and Harassment

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Sexual assault and harassment inflict deep emotional and psychological wounds that can endure for years if not a lifetime. Survivors may experience a range of emotions, including fear, shame, anger, and guilt. The violation of one’s bodily autonomy and dignity leaves a profound mark, often leading to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.

Cultural and Racial Experiences

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Individuals from different cultural and racial backgrounds encounter unique challenges shaped by their identities. These challenges can include systemic racism, discrimination, microaggressions, and cultural biases. Factors such as language barriers, immigration status, and cultural norms further complicate these experiences.

Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity

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LGBTQ+ individuals often face discrimination, prejudice, and marginalization based on their sexual orientation and gender identity. This can manifest in various forms, including societal stigma, legal discrimination, and interpersonal hostility. LGBTQ+ youth are particularly vulnerable, facing higher rates of homelessness, bullying, and mental health issues compared to their heterosexual and cisgender counterparts.

A study published in the American Journal of Public Health found that experiences of discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity were significantly associated with higher rates of depression and anxiety among LGBTQ+ adults.

Living with Addiction

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Addiction is a multifaceted and challenging condition that affects millions of individuals worldwide. It encompasses a range of substance use disorders, from alcohol and drugs to gambling and compulsive behaviors. Addiction is often characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, despite harmful consequences. It’s a chronic disease that affects the brain’s reward, motivation, and decision-making circuits, leading to persistent cravings and a loss of control over substance use.

Adoption and Foster Care

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Adoption and foster care involve complex emotional and practical challenges for both children and families. Children in foster care may have experienced trauma, loss, and instability, requiring specialized support and care. Adoptive families often navigate issues of attachment, identity, and belonging, as children may have complex histories and backgrounds.

Experiences with Domestic Violence

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Domestic violence inflicts deep emotional and physical wounds that can have lasting effects on survivors. The trauma of abuse can lead to a range of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and substance abuse. Survivors may also experience physical injuries, financial hardship, and social isolation as a result of the violence.

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